Dungeons & Dragons is a game to be played in person. I've played A LOT of D&D over the last year and change, but it's all been via webcam..., that is until last week. The game itself? Forgettable. The interactions, however? Priceless.

 

I received a text message from a very good friend of mine a few days ago asking me if I wanted to pop in for a D&D session with a Dungeon Master who had run games with us in the before-time. Honest to goodness, my heart skipped a beat. As soon as I read that text, I first thought of how lucky I am to be fully vaccinated, followed shortly by a montage of late-night dice-rolling memories that included ordering chocolate chip cookies from McDonalds. It was with these folks that I rekindled my love for the TTRPG that started it all. 

 

Before I occupied a chair with this group, it had been close to fifteen years since I played a game of Dungeons & Dragons. A lot had changed since then and the most significant change? It was now cool to pay D&D. If only I could travel back in time and tell the husky me that I would eventually be part of a nerd-zeitgeist. 

 

After COVID-19 shut everything down, we transitioned to online sessions, usually using Discord or Zoom. The trouble with webcam D&D is the interactions are awash with delay and inaccuracy; it's difficult to catch all the eye movements and body language that color interaction in tasty ways. Add to that the small miracles that needed to be engineered for a play-time to be agreed upon. That and the ever-increasing time between sessions pointed us all in the direction of different sunsets. Shortly after a few job changes among the group, some of which included cross-country moves, we all decided it was best to pack up our dice and disband. My heart slowed a little after the breakup because until I met these people, I never once thought D&D would be a part of my life again. My wife doesn't play and that's fine; no D&D was a known quantity. 

 

Unless... 

 

Necessity produces all sorts of resourcefulness. Yes, the original group of players was no more, but that didn't mean I needed D&D any less - once you crit, you can't split. Using a service called Demiplane, a website that connects game masters with players, I met an Englishman, a Scot, A Dane, and three Americans. And, it was with this group that D&D would once again begin to flourish. Moons and sleep separate us and, that hasn't stopped us from keeping a schedule more consistent than any in-person group of which I've ever been a part. I've learned so much from the DMs that run those two campaigns and have made life-long friends with folks that I may not ever meet in person. Interestingly, webcams work great with this group; we all know and trust each other, and the computer monitor has all but disappeared during our sessions. Why didn't it work with the group I was originally in? Why wasn't that connection completely there to fuel longevity? I think about that often; I think about the unspoken social rules of engagement when it comes to TTRPGs. In other words, what's the vibe-check? 

 

During this blessing of an in-person session, I was constantly running the vibe numbers and it never completely reconciled. I unfairly continued to compare the evening to my two regular [webcam] games. I continued to land on the thought that our experiences can not only separate us but also provide a common ground on which lots can be built. I couldn't be any more different from the folks I play with overseas and on the interwebs, but somehow, that lack of physical presence has made all the other parts of a D&D session that much stronger; our senses are heightened. We put in the time to get to know each other as game players to have faith that if any one of us leans into the R.P. of a session everyone will be there to match the commitment. Now, that type of calculated courage comes with putting in the time.

 

Back at my buddy's place, the old band was back together for one night and while I was confident of my previous groundwork, it proved to be an evening where I needed to acknowledge that this was different. I needed to manage my expectations. This wasn't just a D&D session. This was a social temperature check. Could we, as vaccinated D&D players, interact and be comfortable playing in person again? Surely all of this recent D&D experience I was banking would make me the bell of the ball, making this evening go swimmingly.

 

How do I best describe the evening? 

 

The session was fine. It was great to catch up with my buddy and, somewhat similar to a high school reunion, it was surprisingly easy to reconnect with this group of adventures that I hadn't played with for some time. We played a module in which we needed to identify and stop a vampire from feeding on all the young people in town. I think it turned out to be an evil uncle. I dusted off a bard character, which was fine. The content was rudimentary but that's not where the magic was. We quickly fell into an ease of conversation that I desperately missed. Our faces hurt from laughing. The magic wasn't in the content, but was in sitting at a table, littered w/ paper, notebooks, dice, figurines, and crudely drawn maps. The magic was in sharing pizza and trying not to get grease spots on the laptops we were using. The magic was getting distracted by pictures of pets on cell phones. The magic was arguing over rules. The magic was in losing track of time as we played into the night. And like poetry, when it was too late to continue, the magic crescendoed with us ordering chocolate chip cookies. 

 

The world will come back in fits and starts and I think I'm prepared for the emotional journey that will elicit. We are a social species and that bubbles up in different ways for everyone. For me, the apex of being social is not only playing Dungeons & Dragons in person with folks I know and trust but introducing the game to new people and making that circle ever-bigger. I'll continue to hope for those in-person sessions while I connect my webcam to different time zones. I'll continue to reach out to friends I haven't seen in a while and, with any luck, I'll continue to roll a D20 in perpetuity.